Theta’s pre–Thanksgiving scavenger hunt antics could fill up this whole section on their own, but Shoutouts took all the good eating disorder and cocaine jokes. We hear a drunk Theta junior carrying a beer was caught wandering around Huntsman. After being chased out of the building by multiple security guards, this chick may need to find a new study spot. May we suggest the fifth floor of VP? Dare to be different.
Two competitive seniors stopped at nothing to ensure their team, The Biblical Bombshells, went home with a victory. They sweet–talked a Beta bro into shaving a Theta in the nether region of a Theos senior. Really brings a new meaning to manscaping, doesn’t it?
This semester many sororities chose to mix with grad students rather than suffer through parties with undergrad guys. But why should girls have all the fun? Highbrow’s sceney sources tell us that Theos is planning an MBA mixer of their own. To that we say: welcome to Cougartown.
Sweetgreen needs to get their shit together. First they stopped giving out loyalty cards (yeah, we noticed), and this Monday they ran out of every kind of lettuce, leaving their loyal fan base of AEPi guys and sorostitutes crawling back to Gia, just like old times. Apparently the salad shop didn’t think we’d be back on campus until later that week. But if most of their customers just pick at their salad and throw it away uneaten, isn’t the lettuce just a formality? They might be on to something.
Since incidents with alcohol in their dry house left them on “administrative watch,” we hear Skulls has decided to go off campus. Yes, we’re serious. No, really. The rule–breaking boys have banded together to form TUSK — The Underground Skulls… sexy. Sources tell us they recently hosted their oddly–themed comeback event, a Grey Goose party, at which every third bottle was Goose and everyone had to wear gold? TUSK going hard? But stop trying to make TUSK happen. It’s not going to happen.