HighbrowNovember 3, 2011 at 6:54 am

Toasts and Roasts: Halloween Round-Up

You guys have done it now. You broke Toasts & Roasts by being on your absolute worst behavior this past Halloweekend. This is why we can’t have nice things. So rather than get all roasty–toasty with your antics, we decided to round up all of our favorite scandalous stories.

Halloween costumes tend to test the limits of what’s appropriate. Somehow, lingerie passes as an acceptable costume. Do you guys know what’s neither sexy nor appropriate? Racism. We hear two senior girls dressed up as Biggie and Tupac by wearing blackface and baggy jeans. Meanwhile, a Capo barista dressed as an Aryan complete with bright blue contacts, a blonde wig and a military uniform. Why? Just… why?

For some of you, all the dressing up and shots and slutty costumes and additional shots really got you tired. One sleepyhead senior even fell asleep on the toilet at Smoke’s. On the one hand, that’s actually disgusting, but on the other hand… happens to the best of us.

We hear the baseball house party had an unwelcome visitor this weekend. An unidentified woman with a sketchy backpack crashed their party Saturday night and refused to leave after the hosts asked who she was with. After repeatedly being asked to leave, the woman bolted for the door and fell flat on her face, eventually getting carted out by ambulance. This gave the police the opportunity to search her backpack, in which they found airplane–sized bottles of alc, prescription drugs that weren’t hers and a Copa apron, where she works as a waitress. So many questions.

We thought that you guys left kleptomania behind in October, but it seems that isn’t so. Someone made off with four composites and a taxidermized elk head from Kappa Sig this Friday. Disgraceful. Impressive, but disgraceful nonetheless.

Some stole from frats, others from sororities. Last week Theos sent out an email explaining some kind of mystery event happening tomorrow, but the secret’s out. Highbrow hears the boys are holding a fake Woodser, in the same place where TriDelt holds theirs annually. Don’t worry, girls. We all know that THEOW — The Old Woodser — is the best Woodser. Besides, when TriDelt holds a party in a forest, it’s cute. When Theos does it, it seems kinda axe–murdery.


More in Highbrow:
Overheard at Penn
Dispatch: The Itch You Can’t Scratch
Word on the Street: Send in the Queens

3 People have left comments on this post

By DDDDDDDDD on November 3, 2011 at 6:54 am

this is honestly just a shit article you try to be funny in so many parts and fail so badly it’s literally pathetic

By lol on November 3, 2011 at 6:54 am

thanks for the input, theos. too bad your trust fund couldnt buy you a sense of humor.

By Congrats to the Elk thieves on November 3, 2011 at 6:54 am

I’ve been thinking about grabbing that head for years

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