Cultural Elite 2011

Rachel A.: This LI native rules the Greek world with a Skinny Girl Margarita in one hand and a Little Brown Bag in the other.

Gabby A-G.: Don’t be fooled by her innocent charm… this Funk master will woop you on the dance floor any day of the week.

Ava A.: Since her relationship with another elitist ended, this TriDelt has certainly earned her Asylum residency.

Jae B.: Good to know this MGC president thinks branding is a “team building activity.”

Rob B.: Hoops player by day, Blarney bouncer by night, he loves to rep his hard–knock high school days in Chicago. But it’s a shame he’s best known for being Zack’s number two.

David B.: This Buck Claytons Silk City drummer is a true elite among his elitist Theos bros.

Cindy B.: If number of pre–college Penn ‘12 Facebook friends is an indicator of social prestige, then her popularity would be off the chart!

Erin B.: Even when she’s recovering from a grog–filled night, this girls lax captain is a star on the field.

Nicole C.: She’s the most bad–ass chick around, but we wish this Mortar Board would stop teasing the boys.

Ariel C.: Everything about this Mortar Board, Smoke’s bartender, and DAC chair packs a punch: her drinks, her dances and especially her fists.

Ishika D.: She’s a Dubai babe with a British accent who can make any Management 100 student swoon.

Alexa D.: We’d like to talk about lexyd.com, but we’re afraid she’ll beat us up.

Chelsea D.: Her train wreck performance on The Real World D.C. secured this TriDelt a spot on our list.

Neil D.: The PiKapp Pennquest leader won the hearts of the BMOC judges. Twice.

Kaya E.: This Tabard’s impeccable style and effortless charm may win her many fans, but that sad excuse for an English accent isn’t fooling anyone.

Tyler E.: From the prez of the gays to the prez of the UA, this Sphinge likes to play the piano and watch French films. Sound like a hazer to you?

Triston F.: We’re devastated this Friar turned us down for Ego of the Week, but the invitation is still open.

Alex F.: The Castle trustafarian rocks out in Off the Beat and Red Giants, but his dreadlocks require more maintenance than they’re worth.

Jenny F.: This hyster Theta has her own lingo and some epic FB albums. She’s def Exec, even though some of her Halloween costumes have been a little BL.

Victor G.: He’s a self–proclaimed “Madame” of the gays with a penchant for high heels. Strike a pose. No, try a different one this time.

Jenny G.: This AXO has marked her territory at many frat houses.

JP G.: We don’t care that he never made an impact on the football field because this defensive back will leave a lasting legacy as the leader of the Delts.

Allie G.: Under the bangs, racy pics and blackface Halloween costume there’s just another Long Island high school valedictorian. We think

Michael H.: Let’s be honest: this PhiDelt made the list because of his adorable pup.

Nick H.: This Kappa can step his way into our hearts any day.

Harry H.: We’d rather donate to S4TP than go to the shooting range with this IFC prez.

Meg H.: If her position as the chair of the PCUW doesn’t convince you of this Sphinge’s commitment to gender issues, her feminist power tattoo will.

John H.: With his skinny jeans and leather jacket, this Elmo stud has the stank stare to put even the cockiest snob in their place.

Sammy H.: The hottest dudes on campus get on swimmingly with this blonde AXO from Minnesota. Because she’s dated them all.

Mansi J.: She’s a Wharton queen and browntown royalty with an alter ego decked in sparkles and glow sticks.

Jibran K.: Our President certainly loves to rage, but his party–boy antics at Hey Day didn’t win him too many friends on class board.

Joe L.: Is anywhere on campus Lawless–less? From the Quad to the Women’s Center. this do–it–all’s got major opinions. About everything.

Jake L.: This Penn soccer star, Friar and social butterfly is a smooth talker. Must be why he’s hooked up with almost every girl on campus.

Ursula L–P: Now that her soccer career has come to an end, you’ll probably find this AXO stealing the show at Blarney’s Sunday Funday.

Katie M.: When this Sphinge isn’t chairing CHAC, reforming inner–city schools or tossing frisbees around with Venus… well, does she have time for anything else?

Michael M. and Dennis Z.: As freshmen, the Beta duo bought the biggest room in the quad. We guess we would too if one of us owned Siberia.

Kelly N.: Tap House is cool and all, but invite us to one more event and we might have to punt your dog.

Adam O.: Unst unst unst. It’s DJ Tega. Bitch.

Sam P.: We heard she took her 20 closest friends to Vegas for her birthday. Sam, you’re cordially invited to our writers meetings. Just don’t scare away the freshmen.

Michael P.: Shirtless and single, this Beta brah always has the best time at the party — and wants everyone to know it.

Jason R.: Jorts. Budweiser. Football. AMURRICA.

Andrew R.: Have you heard this Omega is family friends with Kenn Kweder? So have we.

Zack R.: Ginger. Jew. Star basketball player. One of these things is not like the other.

Jordan S.: Don’t let this Panhel Princess’s LA roots fool you. She actually has a soul.

Emily S.: We thought you were in every club on campus, but we can’t find you! Are you hiding? (Cultural delete.)

Chip S.: He appears to be the quintessential A’s boy: blond, waspy and jort–prone… until you realize that he’s actually nice… and went to public school (gasp)!

Olivia S.: Has anyone ever seen this TriDelt shipping heiress smile? We wouldn’t have minded if she had prolonged her time in Paris indefinitely.

Victoria S.: This track and field captain runs train. When she isn’t breaking records, you’ll probably find her working the room at Smoke’s.

Jais T.: She was friends with everyone. Until she joined Theta.

Cristina V.: This Zeta prez wastes spends her time baking ‘Beta bites.’ Maybe she’s nostalgic for her days living in the Meatshack. Ewwwww.

Jeff W.: As a Wigger, i–banker, hipster combo, this guy should be having an identity crisis, but instead he’s just adorable.

Tony W.: He’s post–Wharton, his blog is post.fashionism and when he’s not playing video games he’s schmoozing with the fashion elite.

Liz W.: This Theta Penntrepreneur’s skills include a stellar tolerance and a habit of nip–slips. Did you hear she founded PennEats? Sorry. We meant UniEats.

Taylor W.: Did you know this boat shoe aficionado was working at Goldman Sachs? Yeah, so did we.

Lauren Y.: We have the biggest crush on this Excelano bombshell. Her cat–eye glasses don’t hurt either.

Allison Z.: Talented artist? Check. Music festival regular? Check. Dated everyone in Fat Panther? Almost check.