Bitch on the phone: I know you’re upset about the break–up, but let’s not talk about it. Think about shoes. Bye.
Boy at Penn football game: What are Penn’s colors again?
Girl who lost her phone: My mom’s secretary is gonna shoot me in the asshole.
Guy DFMOing with a girl: Fuck… I really wanna add you on Facebook right now.
One paramedic to another: Just don’t make the mistake I did. Don’t put catnip on your balls.