EgoOctober 20, 2011 at 6:56 am

Ego of the Week: Joe Lawless

Our Ego this week isn’t afraid to make you blush. This Sphinx is president of Abuse and Sexual Assault Prevention, SMAC Chair on the Performance Arts Council, President of Kite and Key and the best RA ever. Check out 34st.com for a video of Joe ranting about… well, just go online and you’ll see.

Street: Your last name is “Lawless,” so how do you feel about anarchy?
Joe Lawless: Oh, love anarchy. Love it. Like obsessed. All my grandmother talks about is disolution of government, and she’s just scathing and ridiculous, so I get my inner anarchist from her. As well as my inner “kick–out–the–bullshit feminist.” She’s a ferocious, ferocious woman.

Street: What would be a more fitting last name for you?
JL: Joseph Frank Thunderdome would be totally incredible.

Street: What law could you do without?
JL: DOMA. Defense of Marriage Act. That’s offensive. Keeps gays from getting married. That shit is icky.

Street: If you could swim in a pool of anything, what would it be?
JL: The first thing that pops into my head — how disgusting is this — would be black beans. To be in a pool of them would mean, as I took a breath, they would come into my mouth and I’d be able to just crunch and get my day’s protein.

Street: What is your secret talent?
JL: I can do a split. My crotch can almost touch the earth.

Street: What’s your latest discovery?
JL: The degree of homoerotica at Pottruck. It’s amazing how bros will be next to one another and will just be feeling each other’s pecs as they’re lifting weights, and I’m like oh man, it’s just amazing. It’s kind of like soft–core porn.

Street: What qualities make a good RA?
JL: I like tough love. I tell my residents that if I even smell alcohol or hear even the scent of fun, they’re fried.

Street: So you’re a strict RA?
JL: I wouldn’t say I’m a strict RA, but in my opinion, there are rules for a reason. Last night my residents were playing board games. And instead of drinking, they were using a big bottle of water. And I was like, I’ve done my job.

Street: How do you keep tabs on your residents?
JL: I email them constantly. Today I sent an email telling them I couldn’t be at Yoga, which doesn’t really matter. I told them I wanted to go to Yoga with them. Nobody ended up going, but I just wanted to let them know that I couldn’t be there.

Street: What’s your favorite Yoga position?
JL: I don’t know what it’s called. Do you want me to show you?

Street: Yeah.
JL: You’re in the typical downward dog. The yoga instructor makes us go like this, and then we go like this. I just love that upward thrusting motion. It’s my way of letting Jesus know that I don’t believe in his hierarchy.

Street: What’s the name of the position?
JL: You know, I honestly don’t know. And I skipped Yoga this morning. Godammit.

Street: What would you call it?
JL: Divinity’s Thrust. Or, The Joe Lawless Version of Saying Hello to the Clouds. Which is, pelvis first.

 

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