Overheard at Penn

Capogiro employee training a new hire: It’s okay to be fierce and say, “I’d be happy to help you after your cellphone conversation.” The more condescending, the better.

Freshman Bro: I’m going to the swim house, dude. Already fucked a girl tonight. Yeah, it was on my way out of the Quad. It was like, whatever.

Drunk Frat Guy: You’re wearing a scarf now? Come back in the winter, bitch!