They’re roommates, they’re Friars and they’re baller. That’s because Jess Knapp and Adrienne Lerner are captains of the womens’ basketball and soccer teams, respectively. They’re fierce on the field, but don’t stick them in an elevator.
Street: If you didn’t play your sport, what would you do?
AL: I would be trying out every year, over and over again, for different dance teams.
JK: Competitive eating.
Street: What’s the most annoying thing about your roommate?
AL: I really hate burps and Jess has a tendency to burp all the time… and believe me, they’re not little girly burps. They’re monster burps.
JK: Two words: Sally. Doll.
Street: So what exactly is a Sally Doll?
JK: Oh, Jesus.
AL: When I was three, I used to twirl my hair, and my parents were afraid that I would twirl it all out, so they gave me Sally so I could twirl her hair instead. Now I have pulled all of her hair out, basically. She’s like the creepiest Chuckie doll imaginable.
JK: I… dislike Sally. She just freaks me out, but I’m also a little bitter because Sally has traveled to more places in the world than I have.
Street: If basketball and soccer had a love child, what would it be like?
AL: He’s a stuffed animal dinosaur with a broken neck.
JK: It’s a raptor.
AL: I think that would be the love child.
Street: So the love child of basketball and soccer would be a stuffed dinosaur with a broken neck?
Street: You’re stuck in an elevator. What do you do first?
AL: Good! I would too. Cry and yell.
JK: Hysterically. And have a panic attack.
AL: I think we would both probably have panic attacks. Which would be bad because neither of us would be able to calm the other one down.
JK: Sweat profusely. In that order: cry, sweat profusely, have panic attack. Done. Pass out.
Street: Where will you be five years from now?
JK: Desperately trying to be back in the house we’re in right now. Just really stalking our apartment.
AL: Stalking our lives at Penn.
JK: The glory days.