How to deep–fry anything that's already bad for you.
Like any county fair or family reunion south of the Mason–Dixon Line, the Spring Fling experience would not be complete without the heavenly sensation of sinking your teeth into a deep–fried Oreo. Yet we often find ourselves too preoccupied — and inebriated — with the annual festivities and rites of this collegiate bacchanalia to enjoy the gift given to us by our hick cousins in the deep South. To prevent you from missing out on yet another opportunity to fill your body with loads of ‘crap’ (for lack of a better term) on Fling, here is a recipe to make some homemade deep–fried snacks, pre or post fling.
1. Add 1 cup of pancake mix, 1 egg, 1 cup of milk and 1 tablespoon of cooking oil into a bowl to make your batter. Stir until all ingredients are well–mixed and the consistency is smooth.
2. Pour vegetable oil (preferably corn oil) into a deep saucepan or pot until it fills approximately four inches. Preheat the oil to 375 degrees (read: heat on High for approximately 10 minutes).
3. Dip your desired snack into the batter until it is fully coated with metal tongs or a nonflammable spatula.
4. Remove the snack from the oil when the batter cooks to a golden crisp. This should not take more than 1–2 minutes.
5. Put a paper towel on a plate and place the finished snacks on top, so that it will further absorb the oil and allow the snack to cool off.
Warning: DON’T DRINK AND DEEP–FRY!
Foods to Fry:
For the traditional Fling snack: deep fry Oreos
For the glutton: deep fry Pop Tarts and Twinkies
For quasi–healthy eaters: deep fry vegetables and fruit. Sliced tomatoes and oranges come out best. [Note: May or may not taste like vegetable tempura.]
For the Gorilla Juice Heads and Guidettes of Jersey Shore: deep fry a pickle. Use remaining pickle juice as a hangover cure the next day.