My First Downtown
10:37 p.m.: Start straightening my hair. I don’t think curly flies round these parts.
11:55 p.m.: My friend buys me a shot, because it’s “so funny that you actually came downtown!”
12:56 a.m.: Some guy named Alex has introduced himself to me at least 15 times.
1:04 a.m.: Run into Alex from before and say hello. Alex goes, “who the FUCK is this girl?”
1:55 a.m.: Theos kid in our cab assures us there’s a late night. Arrive. There is no late night.
2:43 a.m.: One devout member of the scene notices I’m in her living room. She asks me sweetly, “Who are you visiting?”
3:15 a.m.: Time to pass out.
10:45 a.m.: Walk of shames from girls’ houses are more shameful than from boys’. At least at the latter you get laid.
My Umpteenth Downtown
10:37 p.m.: Quickly straighten my hair while deciding what to wear.
12:21 a.m.: Catch up with friends while sharing a bathroom stall as we all take turns peeing. This is a Thursday night routine.
12:56 a.m.: I am actually drenched in sweat, and my friend David dance–mauls me to steal my drink. I am annoyed.
1:15 a.m.: Starting to get bored as my drunken glow wears off. I really want to go home.
2:05 a.m.: Arrive at Theos. There is no late night. Instead, I pour myself a bowl of cheerios.
3:15 a.m.: After three bowls of cereal, I’m full and satisfied enough to trudge off to bed.
10:45 a.m.: Chug a few bottles of water before writing my response paper for a 2 p.m. recitation. This isn’t my first rodeo.