Das Guttah is back from a brief hiatus with the biggest news of the semester — hell, the year: as a sighting in front of Tap House a fortnight ago confirmed, the infamous Coke Twins are back. Apparently, they’ve shacked up with their parents in the Philly area and plan on stopping by campus between shenanigans. To all you kids who arrived at Penn after the twins’s early exit last year: hide your kids, hide your wife, but especially hide your illegal substances and large cheese rinds.
TriDelt was in a spot of trouble when their national organization discovered that Woodser was indeed not, as reported, a sisterhood event! Shocking, we know, but true nonetheless. But, like most drama that’s a couple of weeks old, after a cancelled date–party–in–the–woods and early elections to boot the guilty girls in charge, all is well once again in the land of the dizzy blondes.
And in this week’s edition of things that make us want to hurl: We suppose that it might be in light of the holiday that is Chanukkah, but Theos and PhiDelt held an impromptu and self–titled“Jews vs. Gentiles” flip cup tournament at Kweder on Tuesday. We’re confused by their inter–fraternal friendship, namely because it’s really random. But obviously not as random as the fact that the Jews lost to the Gentiles… We’re just happy that everyone’s getting along in their baffoonery, ya know?
The lights are going up on Locust and it’s finally no longer Movember. Things are looking up.